During the New Years’ time we are bombarded with hints at
making a new year’s resolution. For many this promise of behavior change
focuses on appearance and health. Committing to going to the gym, losing 10
pounds, stopping smoking, eating less junk food, etc. I have always found the
notion of New Year’s resolutions peculiar. The idea that on the first day of a
new year a person would wake up and change a behavior, a behavior that
apparently they have been uncomfortable, guilty, or unhappy with. And
resolutions are somehow like non catholic believer’s version on lent, of course
without God. (I don’t want to turn this post into a religious thing, so if you
need you can pretend I didn't make that last statement). What would happen if
we as a society made a resolution for all mankind? A “I going to try to be a
better person this year” resolution? I read a quote yesterday from the Dalai
Lama that went something like this, “If you show love and compassion for each
other, you are showing love to your god”. Why is it so hard for some to show
compassion for others? I have an idea. If you do, you inherently take on some of that person’s pain.
You feel their burden. You obviously do
not feel their pain directly but through empathy we are able to understand,
maybe what they are going through. This is hard. I try to live a compassionate
life. I try to express empathy, compassion, and understanding. These are things
I value in myself and others.
Last night these values were tested. I went to a
local drug store; it was late at night and 15 degrees outside. I was approached
by an apparent homeless man who asked for "change". I historically have been the
person who ignores this behavior and have encouraged others to do the same. I
engaged him in a conversation about his situation and how my “change” would
help him find shelter for the night. He
continued to scramble for answers to my questions till I finally asked him to
stop, it was not necessary to justify to me what he needed change for or what
he would do with it. I gave him the change and encouraged him to get to shelter
for the night. For the past 24 hours I have contemplated this simple exchange.
I have of course told myself, I am sure he went and bought alcohol, and so what
if he did, is that my business, does it affect me, what if it helps him through
the night. The thing that haunts me is the embarrassed, sad look in his eyes,
the shiver of his cold bare hands, and his disheveled appearance. I chose to
enter, briefly into to his world, his situation, his pain, a visitor. I went
home and considered him and his plight. I crawled into my warm bed.
If you are struggling for a resolution, I challenge you to be more compassionate, to be more understanding and maybe we can make some "change".
B
