I want to be the ghost

It creates a printout to track her movement, her memory

desire swirls like clouds before the storm

where has she gone

the demons scatter from the darkness

I miss her when I close my eyes

the ghosts torment me

I long to float with the clouds

the demons pull me to the ground

they have created a machine

and I want to be the ghost

Gratitude and Wednesday

This past week I was challenged to do the gratitude challenge on Facebook and I wanted to share those three days with you.

I am grateful for my family and friends who bring so much joy and many challenges to my life...without them I would be less

I am grateful that I have the ability to make choices in my daily life, I once positioned myself to allow others to dictate to me my choices.

I am grateful that I understand the difference between wanting everything I have and having everything I want

I am thankful for the ability to recognize humility and times when I need to be humble.

I am grateful that I have learned to express empathy, understanding, and compassion.

I am thankful I have been blessed with the ability to be fair and understanding of so many people from many different backgrounds and restore some sense of justice to community and to others.

I am grateful for the many amazing people I encounter in my job who bring joy and compassion to myself and others unconditionally!

I am grateful for times I laugh especially when inside I have been crying

I am grateful for my health, although it requires a bit of daily maintenance, I am healthy in my mind, body, and spirit.

If you have never done a gratitude inventory I suggest you try!

Also Wednesday is international suicide prevention day...

 You can find resources at:

http://twloha.com/

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Have a Blessed week!

B

September is Recovery Month! I have been invited to speak at several events and always am humbled that anyone is interested in what I have to say. So far all of you in recovery happy recovery month and if you are doing something special let me know!
B

http://www.recoverymonth.gov/

82.1

82.1

How do you fill the emptiness, the feeling that never goes away? 

How do you face the day, the world? 

How do you get out of bed? 

How do you continue on? 

How do you keep it to yourself?

How do you hide it?

How do you act normal?

How do you communicate with others?

How do you face yourself?

How do you explain it to others?

How do you do you?

How do you feel normal?

How do you do it?

on average 82.1 people commit suicide each day…RIP RW

My Story

many people ask me what my “turning point” was. They seem to look for the “answer” and I can admit that a combination of factors influenced my choice to choose a different path for myself. 

One of the things I encourage those struggling to change their life is to consider how they have placed themselves in a position to let others define who they are. This is what I call the gift and curse of personal change (recovery), the authority to become the true author of you story. To define who you are, to rewrite your own story. This is ultimately done through action, not words. 

I write my own story

B

clouds

I have spent the last few days staring, daydreaming, at the sky. Not because I am bored, but because the sky has been exceptionally beautiful. The clouds have been breath taking. When I look at the sky I feel grounded, centered, I feel humbled, and small. The problems of my day both real and in my head seem to drift away. The clouds are full of life and emotion. I am a day dreamer. I believe in things greater than myself. I seek comfort outside of myself. I search for refuge from myself. 

Take a moment from yourself and enjoy the world…

B

Sometimes I forget who I am.

Sometimes I forget who I am. Sometimes I forget what I do. Sometimes I don't realize my connection with others. Recently I had someone approach me at a gas station, stick their hand out to shake mine and continue to introduce themselves. A man who had heard me speak about my journey into recovery. He proceeded to tell me how he was doing, that he has been clean for 3 months. We talked about his goals, but more importantly I asked how he was dealing with himself and the world. I am always surprised when this happens as I get busy with myself and my life I forget sometimes about others and the struggles they are involved in. If you know someone who is going through a personal struggle, take a minute and ask them how they are doing. They need that, they need recognized, they need others to acknowledge and sometimes feel proud of what they are doing.

B