Where is peace? I asked myself
this simple question multiple times a day and night. I am victim of inner
turmoil on a nonstop basis, anxiety, nervousness, worry. At times my mind races
at a pace that my heart picks up to keep pace. I have learned many techniques to
ease my anxiousness. I look at myself in the mirror every morning and become
scared. I don’t know who I have become, what I am supposed to do, how I am to
act. I have a clear understanding of what is expected of a productive member of
society and what is considered appropriate versus not. I have honed my moral
compass to what I believe is an acceptable social level. I believe in the
tenets of good values, I practice these and seek others who share similar
believes and practices.
As I age and look at myself, I notice the landscape of
my physical identity slowly change. My hair is greyer; my skin has begun to
take on new identity. I have to remind myself that life, happiness, is not a
destination. I must continue to work on myself, to continue to look at myself
and push forward. I still have much room to grow, to become a better person.
Those of you who knew me previous to this journey you know how far I have come.
I still have many character defects. I still fight with my inner-self
constantly. Peace is a journey. I look at myself daily, take a deep breath, and
challenge myself to be better person.
B
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