ISO continued

So after I wrote last week I really tried to focus, meditate, and pray about what I was in search of. I spent 2 days traveling and speaking to around 200 men and boys in prison. I asked them the same type of questions. Questions about dreams, desires, what they wanted for their lives, their families. During one of my groups someone asked me “what if I don’t want something different?”. Inadvertently he flooded my mind and spirit. He asked because he was being difficult with me, but his question reminded me of what I was doing, what I was searching for. I returned to my hotel that afternoon and considered myself, my life. What if you are not in search of anything? Is that okay? I attempt to subscribe to the philosophy of “not having everything I want, but wanting everything I have”. How does someone self motivate when they are in search of nothing? How do you have goals, dreams, desires and how do those things motivate you? On Thursday I was back in the field, on the street, talking to people, helping people, being supportive. I felt exhilarated to be doing the work I do and feeling blessed that I get to help people for a living. As I drove through the poorest parts of the towns I work in, I really tried to focus on the moment. Taking in my surroundings. Acknowledging the men drinking on the corners. Watching for children riding their bikes in the street. I wondered if they searched for something and I felt at ease thinking maybe they didn't. I felt at peace. I felt fulfilled. That evening I was on the soccer field in my community, watching kids play soccer. A young man from my community came over and we talked about his struggles as a junior in high school and raising an 18 month old son by himself while working a part time job. I gave him some advice that he seemed to be seeking and I felt blessed that he sought my advice. I woke up the next morning and asked myself “am I doing enough to help others?” And I began to assess my role in life, my purpose. 

Am I doing everything I can to help, to give back?   

B