The Hand Holds No Weapon

What happens when a decision goes terribly wrong? What happens when our desired outcome in a plan, a decision goes awry? All of us have been in this scenario. We have all thought at some point in our lives “I shouldn't have done that”.  When does a poor decision become an accident? Are they the same? Some quick research on decision making reveals enormous amounts of information about decision making, conscience vs. unconscious, analysis, cognitive, planning, etc. I spend many of my days with people who have a history of poor decision making. I am the father of small children who by nature make poor decisions. But what happens with the person who makes the “poor” decision. Do they become the decision? Do they become the outcome? What if the outcome was unimaginable by the person? What if the result was one thing they wished they could take back? Is it the act (decision) or the outcome that holds the most weight?

This week I spent time with men in prison, all of whom have made some bad decisions. Some of who have had the worst outcomes from their decision making. Many who seek forgiveness, they understand the consequences imposed on them. They carry guilt, shame. They do not want to be the crimes, the acts, the outcomes, the decisions they made. They are people. And like most they seek forgiveness. How do we learn to forgive? Who gets forgiven? Whose responsibility is it to forgive?

I shake many hands when I visit anywhere, especially when I visit prisons. This is a simple act of compassion, empathy, respect, and hopefully an acknowledgement of forgiveness. I seek to find the similarities in others, things that tie us, unify us. It is all too easy to find differences in others. I have worked towards rebuilding respect and seeking forgiveness for previous decisions I have made in my life. Repairing harm, giving back. This I believe is one of the most important parts of my life…
My hand holds no weapon
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