Sometimes men get sad

What happens if we stop modeling a behavior and truly let ourselves become taken by pure emotion. How do we cage and control those uninhibited range of emotions. What type of damage are we capable of to ourselves and others. What will others think of our unabashed feelings. Many harness and control their experience, to close the door which leads to pure feeling. Many model what they perceive as being appropriate displays of emotion. I have practiced, studied ways to keep myself within what I consider an appropriate range of emotional expression. However sometimes the veil cannot cover what lies within me. And others notice. I at times have to really focus on keeping my emotions in check and although I try sometimes, I cannot. For men we are taught to be brave, to be angry, to not be sad. Society unfairly expects this from us. If we are sad, we are vulnerable, weak. Men are groomed from birth of this expectation in society. 

“They refuse to acknowledge that masses of boys and men have been programmed from birth on to believe that at some point they must be violent, whether psychologically or physically, to prove that they are men.” ― Bell Hooks, The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love

But everyone wants to be loved, cared for. Men want to be held, to feel safe. But many men bury this desire, as acknowledgement would prove weakness. I struggle to believe what are others think of me holds little to no value. I make decisions based on what I believe to be right and appropriate, even when those decisions are hard and the outcomes are unknown. I try to stay connected with my true emotions, I feel. I want to feel. These are the things which make me feel alive. Being vulnerable helps me grow. I examine my emotions and allow myself to experience those on a daily basis. I practice ways to manage those feelings. At times I feel fragile and at times that is good.