A return to space travel

A return to space travel

2 weeks ago I slipped and fell getting out of the bath, landing face first into the edge of the toilet. I instantly had a ridiculous black eye accompanied by a gash in my eye brow. This is not the first time in my life that my face had looked as though I was hit with a brick truck, a sack of hammers, or 1000 fists. I minimized the damage done and went on with life. But I was not okay. I was advised repeatedly to get an MRI and continued to minimize and avoid recognition that something could be wrong. I slowly started noticing that my perception and vision started to waver. I wrote this off as a possible concussion and continued on. This past weekend, the ground became “un solid” and I fell in a parking lot, again chalking it up as something slick that I fell on. Every day, I have had episodes of dizziness, impaired vision, and lack of coordination and balance.   Every day I have briefly entered “space”. I had left earth and entered a new frontier and whoa was it uncomforting. I have not been under the influence of mind altering chemicals for a long time and have really disassociated myself from the delusion of intoxication. This ongoing condition, for which I have minimized, came to a head yesterday as my ship for outer space finally launched into the unknown. I found myself in a grocery store believing that if I could get some food in my body, my condition would improve. I stumbled through the isles walking on what seemed like an ocean of waves. I held tightly to the shelves till I found a bench to sit on to find my bearings. I kept telling myself over and over to “not lie down in the isle and hug the floor”, “these people will think I am on drugs and call the police”.  I was travelling through space. I had left the earth as I knew it and was a new place where nothing was real and way out of balance.  I made it out of the store and to another bench; tears began to run down my face, I was scared. I was scared. To make a long story short, I am suffering from Post-Concussion Syndrome, and have been placed on medication to help restore my balance and perception. Again and again I was told that I should have come to the E.R. sooner, that I should not have minimized, that I need to remain grounded, and on the planet earth. These feelings are almost directly related to those I was experienced as consumer of mind altering chemicals including alcohol. After the last 2 weeks I can’t believe I used to make myself feel this way on purpose. 

All though these past 2 weeks have been a strange trip, I feel good to be back on the planet, and my space suit has been returned, for today.
B