In search of a magic wand

Many people have asked me a plethora questions surrounding my recovery and its maintenance. I have told parts of “my story” to hundreds of people; from judges, teachers, probation officers, school teachers, counselors, prisoners, teenagers, and friends. I wish sometimes I could fix people, fix myself. I recently was discussing the differences in substance abuse and mental health issues. The feeling that if you correct a behavior you can “fix” many issues around substance abuse, however mental health issues are sometimes equivalent to being a broken person who cannot be “fixed”.  I was told by someone after last week’s post, that sharing my mental health issues was something I was not supposed to do, something you should keep to yourself. Which left me thinking, why do we have to live in the shadows? How has society and even the profession of mental health played into or perpetrated this shame. We know the inherent relationship between substance abuse and mental health and for many years the two have been segregated in treatment and approach. This is of course is not true across the board, both in practice and individual.

Is drug addiction a mental illness?

Yes, because addiction changes the brain in fundamental ways, disturbing a person's normal hierarchy of needs and desires and substituting new priorities connected with procuring and using the drug. The resulting compulsive behaviors that override the ability to control impulses despite the consequences are similar to hallmarks of other mental illnesses.-Nora D. Volkow, M.D.Director
National Institute on Drug Abuse

 I do not have the answers. What I do know is that through living one day at a time I am able to work on being a better person. Most days I am not perfect, however I have the capacity to acknowledge my wrongs and attempt to make amends. I have little desire to use drugs or alcohol, but I struggle daily to deal with life on life’s terms. I believe in the tenants of recovery and the work it requires to achieve and maintain. I know with all my heart that my higher power has chosen a path for me, a different path I was on at one time. I know that I am a recovering drug addict and alcoholic and that I have mental health disorders. I sometimes feel like a person who is broken but I know that if I submit myself to a program of recovery and work on myself daily, my life is manageable. Unfortunately there is no magic wand.
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