Grey area-an area or part of something existing between two extremes and having mixed characteristics of bothTonight I observed a treatment group around the topic of Locus of Control. The conversation moved into a discussion of how most people choose to live daily in a place described as the “grey area”. I don’t want to go into an explanation of Locus of Control theory; a Google search will get you what you need. I want to discuss the ever present “grey area” and why so many find comfort there, the key word being comfort. We as humans find comfort rewarding. We like routines and schedules. Our days are planned from the minute our alarms go off in the morning to moment we close our eyes to end the day. We assign value to the monotonous, routine, daily “grind” of our existence. We have technology at every turn to make our lives easier, more scheduled, and more manageable. We slowly turn our lives into existence. We live in the grey area. We live here because it is easy. ( note to reader…I feel like I am way out of my normal range of conversation here, but hang with me and you will see where I’m going!) I am not sure I can explain the true mundane state I am getting at, but I think you can get, I am trying to describe the get up at same time, eat breakfast, got to work, come home, eat dinner, watch t.v., and go to bed type of thing. Day in, day out. Doing the same thing over and over. We do this. We are taught that this is being responsible, dependable, etc. So why am I talking about this and what does it have to do with me? There are many who believe that this type of life can be detrimental to someone in recovery. That living life as existing is the equivalent of being stagnant and that those in recovery do not make if stagnant. Sure having you time planned out is important and being responsible and dependable are important practices for anyone especially those in recovery. The stagnation, the grey area, affects the mental, the emotional, and the spiritual. And these areas need constant stimulation and maintenance. The grey area becomes the danger zone. I believe this to be true about myself. I need to be out of my comfort zone. I need to experience a range of emotions. I like to laugh and appreciate the ability to be sad and cry. I feel as though I am in touch with my emotions and I am not embarrassed with them. This has not always been the case. I went to extreme measures to hide, bury, and destroy those very parts of myself. I was not comfortable with who I was and how I felt. I wanted to hide in the grey area forever. To disappear. The problem is I could not exist in the grey area, I could not grow and what does not grow eventually dies. I am not always comfortable with this, and some days I want to hide from the world, live in the grey area where I may not be noticed. But I can’t. I have to face the world; I have to deal with the world on its terms. This is where I grow. I do things daily which keep me out of the grey area. I create artwork, I spend time with others, I watch movies, read books, write this blog, and the list goes on and on. I understand the grey area, I get it. For me it is not a healthy place. I need to grow. I need to experience new things. I need to be emotional. I need to assess and maintain my spiritual well-being. I need to mix up my schedules and make life enjoyable even when it’s hard.B
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Grey Area
Grey area-an area or part of something existing between two extremes and having mixed characteristics of bothTonight I observed a treatment group around the topic of Locus of Control. The conversation moved into a discussion of how most people choose to live daily in a place described as the “grey area”. I don’t want to go into an explanation of Locus of Control theory; a Google search will get you what you need. I want to discuss the ever present “grey area” and why so many find comfort there, the key word being comfort. We as humans find comfort rewarding. We like routines and schedules. Our days are planned from the minute our alarms go off in the morning to moment we close our eyes to end the day. We assign value to the monotonous, routine, daily “grind” of our existence. We have technology at every turn to make our lives easier, more scheduled, and more manageable. We slowly turn our lives into existence. We live in the grey area. We live here because it is easy. ( note to reader…I feel like I am way out of my normal range of conversation here, but hang with me and you will see where I’m going!) I am not sure I can explain the true mundane state I am getting at, but I think you can get, I am trying to describe the get up at same time, eat breakfast, got to work, come home, eat dinner, watch t.v., and go to bed type of thing. Day in, day out. Doing the same thing over and over. We do this. We are taught that this is being responsible, dependable, etc. So why am I talking about this and what does it have to do with me? There are many who believe that this type of life can be detrimental to someone in recovery. That living life as existing is the equivalent of being stagnant and that those in recovery do not make if stagnant. Sure having you time planned out is important and being responsible and dependable are important practices for anyone especially those in recovery. The stagnation, the grey area, affects the mental, the emotional, and the spiritual. And these areas need constant stimulation and maintenance. The grey area becomes the danger zone. I believe this to be true about myself. I need to be out of my comfort zone. I need to experience a range of emotions. I like to laugh and appreciate the ability to be sad and cry. I feel as though I am in touch with my emotions and I am not embarrassed with them. This has not always been the case. I went to extreme measures to hide, bury, and destroy those very parts of myself. I was not comfortable with who I was and how I felt. I wanted to hide in the grey area forever. To disappear. The problem is I could not exist in the grey area, I could not grow and what does not grow eventually dies. I am not always comfortable with this, and some days I want to hide from the world, live in the grey area where I may not be noticed. But I can’t. I have to face the world; I have to deal with the world on its terms. This is where I grow. I do things daily which keep me out of the grey area. I create artwork, I spend time with others, I watch movies, read books, write this blog, and the list goes on and on. I understand the grey area, I get it. For me it is not a healthy place. I need to grow. I need to experience new things. I need to be emotional. I need to assess and maintain my spiritual well-being. I need to mix up my schedules and make life enjoyable even when it’s hard.B
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