I found myself on the receiving end
of a violent tirade this week. The person was so angry he was unwilling and truly
unable to hear anything that came from mouth, including an apology for a
misunderstanding. He confronted me in an exhibit of pure rage including threats
of harm to my wellbeing. I sat in my chair, and without hesitation, didn’t move.
My hands placed securely on the arms of the chair, my body relaxed, and my face
void of emotion. And I sat, and I received his yelling and threats, and I
absorbed his emotion, and I resisted the urge to respond, and I refused to
engage, escalate, enrage. And when he finished or maybe realized I was not
going to respond, he left. This is the most desirable less likely outcome. This
could have had many endings, which no doubt would have included me returning to
a version of myself for which I have so worked to control. I understand these
situations are as much about myself as they are the perpetrator. The work I
have invested into making myself a “kinder gentler” version of myself has been
a lifelong process. To understand and adhere to a strict doctrine of conflict resolution
that is based on nonviolence. I believe this is part of my destiny, to restore
some type of balance in my life and the community.
After he left I was consumed with
emotion. . I took a deep breath and began the process of de-escalating myself. My hands shook, my face was flush, adrenaline rushed
through my body, and tears ran out of the corner of eyes. Tear drops of self
control.
Have a Blessed week, I have...
B
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